Know Your Roll

4 X 4. This isn’t a reference to a utility vehicle. These are the baffling measurements of the common household toilet paper. With that I have one question in mind – why?

 

Since when has a 4 inch sheet of toilet paper been sufficient enough to wipe your ass? It may be enough paper square footage for a guy to use after he pees, but I challenge you to find a guy that will actually do that. That’s why we wear underwear.

 

Last year, Sheryl Crow jokingly mentioned only using one square of TP in her quest to keep the earth green and an effort to fight global warming.  Well, whether or not I agree with the color of her cause, her underwear sure would’ve been brown.

 

I say, as an effort to fight global warming, the TP companies should push their paper perforators back to 12 to 18 inches to encourage proper wiping. This will cut down on electricity and the extra water needed to double wash the soil stained titey-whiteys.

 

Here’s a good rule of thumb to gauge if you’re using enough toilet-paper: Your hand should look like you dipped it in a cotton candy machine. If you can feel your skin through the paper, you don’t have enough.